


;-)

by Lalaen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Community: snkkink, Erwin is painfully unsexy, Grumpy Levi, M/M, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-07 00:30:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalaen/pseuds/Lalaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin Smith's best kept secret is what an unsexy dork he is. Levi being a grumpy workaholic, on the other hand, is no secret. Erwin should know better than to sext him during work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	;-)

**Author's Note:**

> oops my first eruri 
> 
> i hope my levi doesn't suck (anything but erwin's monster dick)

When Levi's phone went off from its customary position next to him on the desk, he paid it little mind. He was working on a case at the moment; in fact at quite an important juncture. When the phone buzzed again, he gave it a long-suffering look. Alright, Erwin could win a few seconds of his precious, precious time.

Moron: Levi  
Moron: What are u wearing rn?  
Me: Are you fucking joking.  
Me: I'm at work what do you think I'm   
wearing you useless piece of shit.

He shook his head. He didn't honestly even care what his significant other was up to on his shitty business trip. What he was worried about was spreading this case as wide open as the legs of a particularly eager whore.

Levi went back to his work, assuming that an intelligent man like Erwin would take 'I'm at work' as the 'so fuck off you interloping trash' that it was intended to be. He'd certainly known Levi long enough that he should be able to interpret such a basic signal.

Apparently not, because the phone buzzed again.

The moment it made a sound, Levi's head snapped around to give it a well-practiced death glare. No. No more humouring the idiot. He was done here. 

Soon after, his phone emitted a grossly cheerful little ping that indicated he'd just been the recipient of a picture message.

The nerve.

Levi opened the message, sitting back in his chair and furrowing his brow when he found himself looking upon a shockingly good snap of Erwin's sculpted chest. The play of shadow was incredibly flattering, and sophisticated considering who'd taken it - it must've been luck.

Moron: This is what Im wearing :-)  
Me: You're looking a little fat.

He tossed the phone back on the desk, giving it a look that dared it to go off again. As interesting as a picture of Erwin's chest was, this was not the time. The real thing would be back in a few days anyway.

The phone went off again quite quickly this time, and Levi picked it up only out of annoyance. Not only had Erwin neglected to shut the fuck up, he'd had the sheer balls to come running back for more immediately.

The man was like a big dumb labrador. You kick it and it just keeps running back with its tail wagging. 

Moron: Aw imagine me under your desk   
sucking that bad mood right out of you.

Levi literally grimaced at his phone, putting it back on the desk and pushing it away with one finger and a disgusted little shiver. Risk him drooling on this leather office chair like that? As if. Though Levi wouldn't deny loving Erwin on his knees worshipping his cock, blondie sure did know how to suck every iota of joy out of the image. Between the bad syntax, the incredibly unsexy wording and the goddamn smiley faces with noses, Levi's dick had practically crawled up inside his pelvis.

He tried to get back to the case files open on his computer, but of course as soon as he started typing away; the phone went off again. He narrowed his eyes at the cursed thing. 

Levi scooped it up almost violently, unlocking it so he could text his frustrations out at Hanji. Unfortunately, He had to read Erwin's on the way by.

Moron: U know u love me drooling for ur dick ;-)  
Me: No drooling. Ever. At any time.

Levi was grimacing again. How could he have ever been sexually attracted to this man? This man's penis had touched him. _Drooling_. He had to repress another shudder.

Me: Hanji. Help me.  
Me: I need you to murder Erwin   
immediately.  
Hanji Zoe: SIGH what's he doing now, darling?  
Hanji Zoe: Did he forget to buy refills for your  
swiffer duster again??  
Me: He is attempting to 'sext' me.  
Me: He just said drooling in a sexual   
context.  
Me: Vomiting is imminent.   
Hanji Zoe: HAHAHA OMG LEVI

Levi sighed in open disgust. His best friend was fucking awful.

Me: You are trash and I hate you.

Before he could put the phone down, Erwin's back at it. One tap of a fingertip and Levi is looking at the conversation again; the conversation he wants desperately to end. 

Moron: Hard 4 u baby.  
Me: Do not call me baby.  
Moron: U like it when ur under me.

Levi simply could not accept the fact that he was going a little pink high on his cheeks. If he told himself it wasn't true hard enough, it would probably stop being true. He was Levi Rivialle and his will was law.

He was Levi Rivialle and no man called him baby.

He was about to go back to his very strong game of ignoring his significant other when another little picture message ping came. Okay, he'd admit he was a little curious at what terrible blurry selfie Erwin was sending him now. He stared boredly at the screen of his phone as the image downloaded; then his thin eyebrows shot up.

That sure was a dick picture.

Moron: Kno u can't argue with this :-)  
Me: Must be the angle. It looked   
so tiny I almost didn't recognize it.

It was actually magnificently thick and hard, that one prominent vein he loved so much visible under the velvety skin. Was he going to tell Erwin that? No. Hell no he was not. He might when blondie was home, but he'd make fun of his silvered pubes first. 

Wait, there was never a bad time to make fun of the silvered pubes.

Me: Pretty grey down there too  
old man.  
Moron: Wanna fuck u so bad.  
Me: Don't you always. I'll pick up   
some viagra for you.  
Moron: Bet u wanna lick up my cum.  
Me: Oh my god how are you  
managing to get off to this  
you filthy masochistic pervert.

Levi could not believe him. He could not even believe this man. He had to put the phone down to rub his temples - he could feel a headache coming on.

Moron: Would b more fun if u'd played along :-(  
Me: Ugh.   
Moron: Luv u 2  
Me: You disgust me.  
Me: That gorgeous cock better  
be ready for the ride of its life  
when you get home.  
Moron: <3

**Author's Note:**

> god erwin texts like my dad


End file.
